wiredparish.com

attention deficit podcasting disorder

when it comes to surveillance, dubya’s got nothing on the fo. thought I’d pass along this humorous conversation that took place today between the wiredparish president/amish-bread-maker and the assistant/in-house-tattoo-artist. enjoy …

p/a-b-m: ‘would you agree i’m a.d.d.?’

a/i-h-t-a: ‘no.’

p/a-b-m: ‘really?’

a/i-h-t-a: ‘no, you’re adhd.’

p/a-b-m: ‘so you’re seeing my add, and raising me an h?’

a/i-h-t-a: ‘yes.’

p/a-b-m: ‘so what’s the difference between add and adhd?’

a/i-h-t-a: ‘this runs in my family—except for me. i’ll tell you the difference. my mom is add. she’ll be vacuuming and then just stop in the middle and start dusting. she doesn’t finish things. my sister on the other hand is adhd, and she’s just crazy.’

p/a-b-m: ‘um, how should i respond to that?’

a/i-h-t-a: ‘well, i mean she’s immature—like socially stunted.’

p/a-b-m: ‘are you trying to make this better or worse?’

a/i-h-t-a: ‘well, i was trying for better, but it’s not really working out, is it?’

p/a-b-m: ‘nope.’

and there you have it. subscribe now to wiredparish and we’ll throw in a year of free medical diagnoses.

in the basement,
the fo
wiredparish

brian mclaren brings his ecological mojo to wiredparish.com

over the past few weeks wiredparish has brought you some of the richest content you can find anywhere on the internet. rob bell, reggie mcneal, leonard sweet, jami smith. If you go to itunes right now, you can get (for free!) the first wiredparish podcast by author/speaker/christian activist brian mclaren. in this first cast called, “creation as the first chapter of god’s project of reconciliation,” brian reminds us that god’s endeavor of reconnection not only includes humanity, but also the natural world around us.

“god is involved in bringing everything together.”

whether talking about a gentle stroll through his neighborhood or the newest bruce cockburn album, brian draws us in to experience god’s creation in a new way.

brian mclaren is the author of the new kind of christian trilogy, the secret message of jesus, and many other books on christian spirituality and the emergent church, including the book a is for abductive, co-written with another wiredparish host leonard sweet.

i’d also like to give a personal shout out to brian mclaren for talking the wiredparish president/glass blower into letting the fo take an occasional field trip out into god’s wonderful creation. the office shitzu and I have solved most of the world’s problems while staring at the clouds above the wiredparish backyard.

in the basement and occasionally the backyard,
the fo
wiredparish

reggie mcneal and the confessions of a horticulturalist

it is that time again for the fo to make public those things which were once secret, to pull back the veil and let the murmuring masses feast upon milk and honey which has previously been denied them. (for the uninitiated, i’m in the basement -- I hear things upstairs -- I blab to you – you send me a christmas card and fruit cake.)

the newest free podcast available from wiredparish is by a cat named reggie mcneal. part one of his series, ‘generational cultures’ is available at itunes ... parts 2 – 4 will be available if you subscribe for the ridiculously low price of yada, yada, yada.  please believe me when i tell you that mcneal is an absolute freak who will blow your mind – in a wonderful sort of way.

now for the really big news of the day … it has been brought to my eavesdropping attention that the wiredparish assistant/landscape architect is guilty of stalking a group of young musicians formerly known as ‘hanson.’ when i say ‘stalking,’ i’m referring to the act of sneaking onto the young hipsters’ property, grabbing a handful of grass clippings, sealing them in a zip-lock baggy and then placing said baggy on her totem shrine at home to be worshiped with incense and assorted chants (no doubt containing various inflections of the phrase ‘mmm bop’).

you may be saying, ‘fo, surely this happened when she was but a lass.’ well, seeing as how I am trapped in a basement, investigative reporting of the exact timeline of the assistant/landscape architect’s horticultural thievery probably won’t make it into my outlook calendar anytime soon. therefore, i’ll just assume it happened yesterday. shameful girl.

in the basement,
the fo
wiredparish

ps - how about showing fo some love and digging this blog post?

'i hear the sound of abundance'

when it comes to blog aficionados who are held against their will in damp basements somewhere in middle america, nobody cares about his or her readers more than yours truly. ‘oh, yeah?’ you might say, ‘then prove it.’

well, despite your harsh hypothetical tone, i bring you good tidings of great joy from the world above. no, not heaven. that would be a tad bit pretentious of me. the divine has yet to grace me with any insider information … although my indigestion from last night’s chinese takeout had me thinking, for a moment, that the almighty might have a special word for the fo. darn you, general cho’s chicken.

no, my faithful readers; I am referring to news from that boiler room of podcasting, that spaghetti junction of theological activity, what I affectionately refer to as … ‘upstairs.’

I don’t think the wiredparish president/plumber realizes how much his voice carries, but evidently there are 10 free subscriptions available to whoever happens to be as speedy as a bunny. just click on the wiredparish e-mail link and pass along your name, email address, and myspace url.

in the basement,
the fo
wiredparish

wiredparish and rumspringa

the information superhighway that exists between my bat-like ears and the floor above me has been a virtual autobahn the past day or so. here’s what I have to report:

• i overheard the wiredparish president/janitor telling the chief audio engineer/shitzu handler that, for a limited time, if you e-mail your mailing address to wiredparish, you’ll get a couple free stickers - same design as the picture on the blog. these normally cost a buck a piece, but darnit if those wiredparish cats aren’t a bunch of altruistic bleeding hearts. get the stickers while they last … they only have about 500 … unfortunately, they used to have more, but they decided to store them in the basement, and well, boredom sets in fast when you’re locked in a damp underground blog bunker. it took about 3 and 1/2 days to pull all the stickers off my body. don’t worry, the actual stickers that were pulled from my person were discarded appropriately.
• itunes and wiredparish have achieved a synergy that could quite possibly rival the great tandems of the modern era: c3po and r2d2, cagney and lacey, peanut butter and jelly, david bowie and lou reed, the hummer h3 and global warming, and now itunes and wiredparish. click on the itunes button on the right to check out some free wp podcasts. if you don’t have itunes on your computer, disengage your foot crank generator and inform your parents that you’ve broken amish law already by using the computer, so what would it hurt to download itunes.
• i’ve also just heard a huge, no, monumental rumor from the world above. i’ll have to verify, but stay tuned for more.

in the basement
the fo
wiredparish

kung fu action and hitting for the cycle

evidently, the ladies and gents upstairs have found it appropriate to leave sipowicz (the office shitzu) out in the backyard to bark throughout the night. in response to these less than fair labor practices, i’ve been ceaselessly singing the entire naughty by nature back catalog throughout the day. i believe i now have the upper hand. hip hop hooray, indeed.

wiredparish pretty much hit for the cycle in a recent ny times article. to start with, it was a fabulous piece, detailing how a growing number of evangelical pastors have been distancing themselves from some of the stereotypical evangelical soapboxes. Not only was it a fine article, but it also featured two future wiredparish interviewees in gregory a. boyd and randall balmer, as well as wiredparish host brian mclaren. it’s interesting how some pastors can grow more and more disenfranchised with evangelical ideals, and yet they still continue to position themselves under the umbrella of evangelicalism. wiredparish host jay kelly recently interviewed rob bell and had a great discussion about the name evangelical, as well as rob’s thoughts about being part of a megachurch. if you haven’t listened to that podcast yet, go check it out at wiredparish. it’s under ‘free stuff’. if anyone has any thoughts about why some of the more thought-provoking pastors/leaders still choose to call themselves evangelicals, I’d love to hear them.

for those whose curiosity is, i’m sure, just boiling up inside them, my life-size lego
richard roundtree was completed early this morning. And yes, he is a bad mutha. I had hoped that upon completion, richard would be a catharsis of sorts for my pent up anger. alas, sipowicz has invigorated my rage, and my artistic efforts will now be directed towards a lego kung fu action black belt jones.

in the basement,
the fo

news from the underground

good golly, you wouldn’t believe all the hubbub going on upstairs the last few weeks. those wiredparish folk have been such busy little elves that it’s been more than a chore trying to enjoy my afternoon nap. well, I suppose I better do some informing before I have my lego privilege revoked. (by the way, my life-size replica of edward james olmos will soon be accompanied by a striking representation of richard roundtree.)

here’s the skinny … those business savvy entrepreneurs at ground level have made an offer that’s darned near irresistible. i would use stronger language, but i fear fainter hearts could not bear. one can subscribe to wiredparish now and get 52 weeks of podcasting in all its glory. ‘all the hosts, all the content, all year long,’ as they are prone to say upstairs between clanking of glasses. AND, in their infinite beneficence, the
wiredparish lads and lassies will throw in a free t-shirt and a couple stickers to the first 1000 subscribers. i believe they have attached a wiredparish sticker to the office shitzu sipowicz. (i personally don’t recommend this application.) from what I hear, wiredparish paraphernalia is bringing in gobs of cash on the black market, so this is indeed quite a deal.

as far as rumors falling through the cracks above, i did hear that wiredparish host jay kelly seems to have developed an interesting pet peeve – evidently he breaks out into a rash whenever he hears the word ‘godcast.’ therefore, I encourage all those privy to jay’s e-mail to write him in congratulations of his excellent ‘godcasts.’ a little rash never hurt anyone.

in the basement,
the fo

about the fo

hey there. the fo here. wiredparish has had me locked in their underground bunker for months now, with nothing but headphones and a laptop, kind of a modern day clockwork orange.

podcasts are piped through my headphones on a regular basis and are my only connection to the outside world. the only way for me to earn my freedom is to post to the wiredparish.com blog. could be months, could be years. my insider information comes by listening to the conversations through the floorboards above me (wiredparish is actually in a 100-year-old victorian house out on the edge of town ... at least i assume it's on the edge of town since i never hear any traffic outside). the more comments i generate, the more food, water, beer, and legos i receive to keep me going. (when i'm not blogging, i build things with legos ... so far i've constructed an exact replica of edward james olmos.) 

you might be thinking, 'hey, fo ... you must be a pretty miserable fellow, considering your predicament.' not necessarily, my friend. after a few weeks of captivity, it hit me that i get free room and board, all the legos a thirty-something who previously lived with his mother could want, and the constant audience of edward james olmos. don't tell the wiredparish folks, but i've got a pretty sweet gig going here.

so, i'll pass on a few of my musings each week, mixed with a little bit of covert wiredparish info that falls through the cracks, and hopefully you'll have pity on edward and i and strike up a conversation. enjoy.